


Behind the fascade

by Jean_Harper



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Comfort, Hurt, Hurt Loki, Loki - Freeform, Marvel - Freeform, My First Fanfic, Odin's A+ Parenting, Post-Avengers (2012), Thor - Freeform, Trails of Loki, maybe at least, not really sure where this is going, so please be nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:36:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5322458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_Harper/pseuds/Jean_Harper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is brought back to Asgard to be tried for what he has done on Earth. His toughts start to wander and he ponders on his capture, his time in Asgard's cells and his relationship with Thor and Frigga.</p><p>“I do accept all those crime you account me with since it would be ill-advised to speak against you. Would it not, All-father?” The implication lingered somewhere in the background. But neither Thor nor Frigga were too stupid to understand the accusation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...this is my first (beginning of a) story published. It's not beta'd and English's not my native language, so I'm sorry for any weird mistakes I've made, feel free to point them out to me. :)  
> Also I'm not one to regulary write and post new chapters, so I'm sorry if it takes me forever to update but this story definitely isn't abandoned. Last but not least, I haven't read the comics, I've only watched the movies so while I try to be canon-compliant, I might write something that doesn't fit the canon. Sorry for that.

The heavy chains seemed to be made to hold back bold and strong men. Men not in control of their selves, aggressive and angry. They looked terribly archaic on the slightly smiling young God brought in by the guards. The chain around his neck, running down to his wrists, slithering around his hips and finally binding his feet made him look almost fragile beneath the heavy metal and in comparison to the guards.

In one word: Loki did not belong here. And Odin's gaze seemed like he would make sure his adoptive son would get the message this time. The rattling sound of the chain finally stilled and Odin rose to his feet.

"People of Asgard."

Ridiculous. There was hardly anyone here besides the royal family. Loki had been evading Thor's gaze the whole time. Surely Frigga had taken care that her son would not be embarrassed in front of half of Asgard. Otherwise the hall would be bursting from all seams.

"Today justice shall be brought to all of the nine realms as it is our duty. Loki Laufeyson, do you know - accept - of the crimes you have committed against the people of Midgard?"

Laufeyson. So his last actions had been enough to bring Odin to finally tell the truth about his heritage? Did he finally mess up so bad that Odin did not want him as a son anymore? Not that Loki would have been surprised, not at all. Odin had never been his real father nor had he ever behaved like one. Thor, the golden son, warrior and future king of Asgard had been the beloved one. He, Loki, had lived in his shade his whole life. Silvertounge. Trickster. Liesmith. Less charming names – if often used with genuine admiration – he had acquired over the last few years of his life and yet he felt he was proud of them.

A long moment passed until Loki felt it necessary to answer Odin's question.

"I do. What is the sense of denial?" Loki's voice echoed throughout the hall, sounding loudly even though he didn't speak loudly. He gave up on speaking loudly quite some time ago ever since he had learned that people listened so much more intently when one spoke quietly.

“I do accept all those crime you account me with since it would be ill-advised to speak against you. Would it not, All-father?” The implication lingered somewhere in the background. But neither Thor nor Frigga were too stupid to understand the accusation. And Thor and especially Frigga were probably the only people who could see what Loki hid underneath his typical arrogant, relaxed, yet wakeful posture.

His capture had been painful to begin with. That creature had shattered bones, bruised rips, opened up lacerations and torn tendons. Most of it had healed quickly, even before he had left Midgard and for a moment he had felt powerful again.

Powerful, even though he had been chained and gagged. Powerful because of it. Because it proved they feared him. Physically as well as psychologically. They feared his sharp words, his power to make them turn on one another. So he had felt powerful.

It wasn't meant to last for long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter in the light of 10 kudos! Wohoo! I typed it pretty fast and still don't have a beta, so...there will probably be some small mistakes in here.  
> I'll try to update every week or so, depending on how creative I feel. :)

As soon as they arrived on Asgard, guards grabbed his arms and wrestled him towards the palace. Not that he actively resisted, he was too weak compared to the guards anyways and the last few months had not exactly done wonders to his health.

What Loki did remember was Thor’s face. It was caught between worry and trying to appear blank. Whatever poisonous words Loki had spit at his brother, he knew that Thor still cared for him. Something that he had in common with Frigga rather than Odin.

Loki still didn’t know why Odin had brought him to Asgard. Probably as a trophy, a hostage to ensure that the frost giants would keep from Asgard. Maybe a successor in case something would happen to Thor but even as he thought about it Loki found it highly unlikely that Odin had ever thought for him to be king of Asgard. Not that it had come to his mind until he had actually sat on the throne. Feeling how reluctant every subject seemed to his shirt reign. Seeing how even the Warrior Three would barely even accept him on the throne, would not greet him in a proper way and would – of course – submit treason to him.

Looking back, Loki thought as the palace come closer and closer, it should have always been clear to him that he was merely a prop, a toy once brought and now discarded. That he would never ascend the thone of Asgard, that he would never be king and even if he were to be one, nobody would respect him like they would respect Thor.

Oh, his brother would be a good king. Just and humble and respectable. Asgard’s golden boy would be just as good a king. But somewhere in the back of his mind, Loki had always expected to also get the chance to rule. As Thor’s advisor, in Thor’s absence. Just once in a while. What he had never expected was to be ignored, to be discarded, to be fooled.

Maybe the wish to rule was in his royal blood. The blood, he had shed richly on some barren planet and on Midgard thanks to that creature. His body still ached, almost like the quickly healed cuts and bruises where still there in some ghost form. Maybe it had been too much even for his body, for his constitution and healing abilities. Too much for a God.

The fall into the abyss had barely left him alive. Although his body had taken the worst, his mind was, what hurt most. Still preoccupied with Odin and what he thought was the loss of Frigga and Thor he had encountered things that had his mind spinning. In the vulnerable state his mind was in, Loki could literally feel strange things creeping in and out of his consciousness. He found thoughts so deeply hidden within him that he didn’t know if those were his own or maybe those of strange creatures, hidden in the shadows, watching him and waiting for him to lose his mind.

When he finally came to, woke from the state of constant nightmares, he soon wished himself to be back in that indescribable abyss. The first encounter with Thanos seemed so promising. A way to finally have a throne. A mighty ally whose name might protect him. A way to practice revenge on Odin and everybody else who had made his life difficult.

It was way too late that Loki realized that to Thanos he was not an ally to implement his schemes. To Thanos, he was nothing but a puppet.


	3. Chapter 3

Looking back on it, Loki remembered a weird sense of relieve when he finally stumbled through that portal which had led him to the S.H.I.E.L.D facility.  
What he had hoped would be negotiations with Thanos had quickly turned to simple torture. First, Loki had despised the arrogance of the creature before him. Then, he had felt belittled under his commands. Who was he to think that he, Loki, a God would simply follow whatev-er instructions he was given? He had not taken the fall to be slave to a new master.

In the end, his feelings were gone in the anguish, the white-hot pain and exhaustion he felt with every breathing second. Thanos had turned out to be more powerful than Loki had ex-pected, so much more powerful that not even his silver tongue had been able to save him. Thanos did not care for any word of his and made him scream instead of talk. In the end, the words had left Loki in stark contrast to the pain that never quite seemed to vanish.  
He often wondered how much time he had spent on that barren piece of land. It had seemed like forever and then again so short. But seeing how long it took the burn marks to fade, his body to once again comply with him, Loki thought of weeks.

So it had probably been relief that had made him smile when he had stumbled though that portal. Relief to at least have some distance, even though some corner of his mind knew that distance mattered nothing to Thanos. He had focused on his new task even though nothing of that short-lived enthusiasm had remained. The agreement between him and Thanos had turned out to be a trap and not an agreement at all. All that now remained was fear and pain.  
Taking the Tesseract, recruiting an army thanks to the new weapon all seemed to happen without his doing. He focused on his task in the same way a drowning man would focus on swimming to shore. In hopes of surviving and maybe being distracted from his bad state.

Just when he had managed to almost gain some satisfaction from his task, when he had almost convinced himself that it might have been his idea all along, Thanos contacted him once again to remind him of his duties. Later that night he found himself hoping for help. Like a child he hoped for somebody to come, take care of him and protect him. He scolded himself for his naïve thoughts and instead focused anew on his work.

His first capture by the Avengers had been civil, something that could not be said of Thor’s way to handle him. When he had first seen Thor, a glimpse of hope had lightened up. Maybe Thor would be able to help him, maybe the All-Father could protect him. But then his pride had gotten the best of him and he had encountered Thor with his usual sarcasm, accusing him of making his life miserable. In the end, Loki almost believed himself.

By the time he was shown into his cell, he had a plan in his mind, ready to go. At first he had been distracted by the distant fear of inevitable pain – surely the Avengers would not let themselves be mocked without any revenge? – but when it seemed sure that there would be no pain, his plan had almost formed itself.  
Earth’s mightiest heroes seemed to be nothing but a bunch of extraordinary people thrown together. Not exactly a team by any means. And Loki probably knew best that most geniuses did not like other smart people in their surrounding field. To him, it was clear as day that it would be easy to play them off against each other.

What he had not taken into consideration was the agent. Some part of him had actually felt bad about killing him, but he hadn’t thought that his death would be the turning point. He hadn’t really meant to kill him, but he had felt impatient, his body still aching in some weird way and so sick of those humans. So he had killed him. One death more or less didn’t matter anyways. Or so he had thought.


	4. Chapter 4

When Stark had started talking about the agent, Loki had begun to realize his mistake. But he had still thought the Citauri would prevail. When he had stabbed Thor during their fight, it was actually the desperation that showed. Some stupid part of him had rather he died by Thor’s hand then by Thanos’. But of course he had survived in the end. That creature had brought him to fall, but in a way he had only been proxy to his downfall. He had been the last straw to the so-called Avenger’s victory.

As he was shoved into a cell below the palace, he was in some way thankful for his dark thoughts. They had kept his mind off the pain he was still in. His right knee seemed broken in some way, maybe some small part of the bone had found its way into the joint. The tendons in his left shoulder had been torn at some point and hadn’t healed properly so his left arm felt weak and larger movements hurt. His intestines seemed messed up as well or maybe it was the malnutrition that made him feel nauseous once in a while.  
Normally his body would have healed. Broken bones or even internal injury were nothing his body couldn’t deal with. But his healing abilities hadn’t worked properly ever since Thanos had laid his hands on him. Maybe it had been the heat that had messed with his frost giant origin. Maybe his healing abilities had been used too often in too short a time span and had stopped working. Maybe it was even his mental state, the silent unhappiness behind the mask of arrogance, his constant fear of Thanos revenge for not leading his armies to victory. Maybe his fear of Thanos attacking Asgard, hurting or even killing Thor or Frigga.

Either way, as soon as the cell door was closed, Loki collapsed against the wall. His breathing picked up as he clamped one hand over the aching knee. On his way to the cells he had been putting his full weight on it in order to walk without limping. He much rather suffered the pain than showed that he was hurt. A wave of nausea washed over him as he sat down against the wall. Loki pressed his eyes shut and watched the stars dancing behind his closed eyelids. Cold sweat sprung up on his skin as he started heaving, but nothing but acid would come up.  
When was the last time he had eaten? Loki had always been somebody to relish fine foods but then again nobody to like the over-eating that seemed so ingrained in Asgardian culture. He was a picky eater and would rather not eat anything than something not to his liking. Eating was a fine pastime and no necessity to Loki, having caused him to always be slim and lithe.

Thanos had not given him food and if he had, Loki wouldn’t have kept it down when he writhered on the ground, screaming so loudly he hurt his own ears. The Avengers had not given him food. They probably would have but his mind had been elsewhere. And in the spare time he had been free, other things had occupied his mind than food. Now, however, the stomach acid burned his throat and left a disgusting taste on his tongue. No food would probably not kill him, but weaken him even more.  
Once the stars behind his eyelids had passed, Loki got back up, clenching his teeth to avoid screaming. His knee hurt and with his hands cuffed in front of him he had no way to push himself up.  
A cruel move to keep the cuffs on his wrists. The chain was long enough to not be a bother but soon enough the skin on his wrists would bear the marks of the heavy metal.

Loki’s mind had already started to analyze the situation. Either Odin was angry enough to use every excuse to hurt him or the guards would be back soon. Probably both. Loki wondered if Odin was finally angry enough to have him killed. Frigga would not accept that, of course. But what if Odin chose to ignore her voice? Death. Loki wondered what it might be like. Some honest, ugly part of him would have been happy to end all of this and be it by the executioner’s sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iamsosorry! :(  
> What was given to happen happened, which is the fact that I haven't written anything in forever and I don't even wanna talk about posting anything. That's the reason I usually stick to short stories which I rarely finish. But the fact that so many people left kudos really means a lot to me and makes me beyond happy! :D  
> What I wanna say - excuse the rambling - is that this story is definitely NOT DEAD YET.
> 
> I might not update for a long, long time, especially given that I still don't really know where I wanna go with this story but I will post a new chapter eventually. This chapter is pretty much the last pre-written one (I know, they're pretty short) but I will try my very best to continue writing over the following weeks. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is the first of my many started scraps to actually be published. Basically, I've been reading so much awesome works that I kinda wanted to give something back to the fandom.  
> I hope you liked it and I will love you forever if you leave kudos or even coments.
> 
> Edit: Thank you guys for every single kudo! They mean a lot to me! :)


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